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Dec 10, 2023

23 Best Sex Toys for Couples in 2023, According to Experts

We've been independently researching and testing products for over 120 years. If you buy through our links, we may earn a commission. Learn more about our review process. Strengthen your relationship

We've been independently researching and testing products for over 120 years. If you buy through our links, we may earn a commission. Learn more about our review process.

Strengthen your relationship with these vibrators, plugs and more.

There are many fun ways to bond with your partner (binge-watching Ted Lasso, anyone?), but here’s one that can bring you closer and jazz up your sex life: choosing and using sex toys together.

Picking out the perfect vibrator, sex swing or dildo is a great way to build trust, strengthen intimacy and add excitement to your romance, says Helen Wyatt, LMFT, a relationship and sex therapist at the Center for Modern Relationships. “For many people, the incorporation of sexual tools is one of the most vulnerable things they can do with their partner,” she says. “It encourages them to talk about erotic preferences, dilemmas, fantasies and needs together.”

Introducing sex toys (or trying out new ones, if you're old pros) is a great way to add extra oomph to your sex life if things have been feeling a little same-old, same-old: “They can create variety, which is great for the longevity of your sexual relationship,” says Jesse Kahn, LCSW, founder of the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York. But they can also be used to enhance sexual pleasure and connection for those with physical challenges or health issues, explains Lisa Lawless, Ph.D, founder of Holistic Wisdom. “Those with mobility issues or who struggle with arthritis may find that sex toys allow them to enjoy sexual stimulation more easily,” she says.

Now, if the two of you haven’t used sex toys before, you may be wondering how to bring it up: “Make sure your partner knows that this isn't a reflection of their sexual abilities, but more so wanting to discover different parts of your sexuality,” advises David F. Khalili, LMFT, couples therapist, and founder of Rouse Relationship Wellness. “Treat this as an exciting activity to try, as well as something that you two can discover together to learn more about each other.”

Researching, discovering and shopping together is part of the fun — so grab your partner and read on to learn more about our top sex toy picks for couples, plus what you should be looking for before buying.

Vibrators are popular for good reason. “They increase blood circulation and provide mild to intense stimulation of many erogenous zones,” says Lawless. Arguably the most famous vibrator in the world, the Magic Wand is an oldie, a goodie and getting better all the time. First produced in 1968, it may not have modern sex toy aesthetics (it looks like a cross between a microphone and a thermometer), but it is ready to rumble—literally: the device has been lauded for its powerful vibes. The new rechargeable version make the dangling cord a thing of the past (unless you nostalgically opt for the original model).

If you’re impressed by a sex toy that has multiple functions, you’ll love the Satisfyer Partner Multifun 3, which Wyatt rates as one of her favorite choices for couples — especially those who want to get creative with sex play. That’s because this soft, sleek, gold-accented toy has — wait for it — more than 30 different functions and 100 different vibration combinations to play around with. Its insertable shaft and two prongs, or “arms,” add to the array of options.

Dame’s Eva distinguishes itself from other vibrators on the market with an invaluable feature: it’s hands-free. The first wearable couples vibrator, the compact Eva can be placed between the labia to provide clitoral stimulation without the inconvenience of having to constantly hold it in place. That leaves your partner's hands (and yours) free to explore other body parts.

Who says rose petals should only be sprinkled romantically across your bed? Designed to appeal to true romantics, Adorime’s Rose Lover Sucking Vibrator is great for anyone who stresses about taking too long to reach an orgasm, says Shawna Starkman, LMFT, a couples therapist at the Center for Intimacy Recovery. The compact vibrator has seven suction settings and is waterproof, in case you want to use it in the shower or tub. Available in red or purple, it’s so pretty that you might want to leave it on your nightstand as some sassy home decor instead of tucking it away in a drawer.

This dual-action couples massager is so high-tech, it’s as if it were sent to us from the year 3000 by benevolent, sex-savvy innovators who have totally nailed the whole simultaneous orgasm thing. The Duo can pleasure both partners at once with its two motors, multiple vibrating patterns and a wireless remote that helps operate the toy by coordinating with the user’s hand movements. Check out the Lelo site for detailed instructions on how to get the most pleasure out of the massager,

If you and your partner are excited to try new things, but aren't sure where to start or what will make your motor hum, this curated set has several products to try, including a sky-blue Vibrating Love Egg, luxe Kanuka Flogger Whip and sparkling Litsea glass butt plug with petal design. It's like unpacking a very sexy picnic.

“Sex furniture allows couples to support different sexual positions,” says Lawless. And while you may not want to decorate your apartment with, say, a spanking bench (or even have room for one!), this over-the-door sex swing is small and easy to pack away—and easy to put into play when you and your partner want to try out some hot standing-up sex.

Cock rings are “designed to be worn around the base of the penis to help maintain an erection, and provide additional stimulation to the genitals, making them very sensitive with and/or without vibration,” explains Wyatt. “They can be silicone or metal; some vibrate and some don’t.”

The Tracey Cox EDGE Maximum Control Adjustable Stamina Ring is a fan favorite. It may not look like a traditional model, with its slide-to-fit, adjustable ring, but it allows anyone with a penis to achieve a snug, effective fit.

Although TENGA’s insertable egg toys were initially designed for solo fun, they've been widely embraced by couples. Pop the actual TENGA egg out of its whimsical container, and you'll find a squishy sleeve with a textured interior that matches its exterior design (think cloud-shaped ridges for their Cloudy edition, waves shapes for the Surfer egg, etc.). Fill it with lube, place it over the penis and elevate the hand job to epic proportions!

If you’re looking for a more compact vibrator, the Elemi is about the size of an index finger, which makes it great for slipping in an overnight bag for a romantic getaway (and if your kids accidentally find it in your bedside drawer, it doesn't look, ahem, anatomical). The Elemi’s quiet “gentle touch” vibration mode — one of 10 options — helps with the discretion factor. Reviewers love how much power is contained in such a small package.

Picture this: You're at a dinner party, or standing on line at the supermarket, and you catch your partner's eye while gently caressing this sleek, chic necklace. Hotter than it sounds, when you realize it's actually a thin, stainless steel vibrator (choose from silver, rose gold and 24kt gold). Slip it off your neck and get down to business.

There are vibrators, there are massagers and then there are strokers— think squishy, textured elastomer rolls that you can manipulate to enhance your stroking game. Couples will find that the brightly colored, cylindrical toy makes a great addition to their sexual play. The fact that the stroker is hollow and can be used to contribute a sucking component adds to its appeal, as does its versatility.

Dildos are a great pick for embarking on sexual discovery. If you want to start with a beginner’s model, the Lifelike Lover is realistic in both look and feel, can be used with or without a strap-on, and offers five inches of insertable length, Reviewers give it, um, thumbs up for being the perfect size and shape to start exploring with.

Butt plugs are a great way to ease into — or continue to passionately embrace — anal play with your partner, and the Colours Trainer Kit is perfect for couples who may have different approaches, experience levels and preferences when it comes to using butt plugs (not to mention favorite colors). This set of three is color-coded by size. The design means that no matter which one you choose, insertion is made easy by the tapered shape and soft, sleek silicone. Reviewers say they are perfect for beginners.

Although it’s called a cock ring, this sleek little product is a couples' favorite because it does double-duty as a vibrator and can also stimulate the perineum, making it ideal for a twosome. “The constricted blood flow to the penis and the simultaneous clitoral stimulation during penetration can help both partners reach a prolonged and super intense orgasm,” Starkman says. The We-Connect app lets couples control the product even when they're miles apart, bringing a new charge to long-distance relationships.

If you and/or your partner only have experience with clitoral orgasms, you might want to explore Lelo’s weighted vaginal beads, also known as Ben Wa balls. “The vaginal contraction and the gentle tugging of the string the balls are on during oral stimulation, and then a fast pull-out of the balls during orgasm will give the receiver the sensation of deep penetrative orgasm at the same time as clitoral orgasm,” says Starkman.

The right pillow can spice up your sex life by providing the support you and your partner need for a variety of positions, including missionary, legs-up, cowgirl and doggy style. The best-selling Liberator Wedge comes in four colors, features a firm foam core, and gets rave reviews on Amazon, where users say it's worth the price for enabling deeper penetration and providing sturdy support.

If you and your partner are interested in exploring BDSM but are not into the black-leather vibe, this kit, with pre-tied knots made of natural fiber, is a good place to start. The soft Kanuka handcuffs come with a control cord and are perfect for “low-cutting” (that’s in-the-know speak for low friction) exploration, while the steel-capped rope allows couples to explore impact play.

Unwanted pain during sex can definitely put couples’ play on pause. Wyatt suggests trying the Ohnut to address pelvic pain that is caused by penetration. This cleverly conceived toy is made up of soft, heat-retaining stackable rings that can be placed on the base of the partner who is doing the penetrating; from there, simply adjust so you can control how deep your partner goes. Wyatt also points out that the rings can easily be added or removed to accommodate different positions so that pleasure takes center stage.

Couples who want to pair their dildo with a strap-on harness will find that this one manages to pair simplicity (the harness is adjustable and can be used with many different types of dildos) with inclusive design (it’s got pockets so you can add other kinds of toys, such as massagers and vibrators, into the mix!), garnering a solid five-star rating on Amazon. Notably, it gets major props from trans men who appreciate how natural it feels to wear.

Luisa Colón is a Brooklyn-based writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times, Family Circle, USA Today and many other print and online publications. Her first novel, Bad Moon Rising, will be released in August 2023.

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