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Mar 19, 2024

How to Prepare for Anal Sex: What to Do Beforehand and During

If you're interested in having anal sex but have no idea where to begin, you've come to the right place. Anal sex can feel great whether you're the partner who's on the receiving end or the one who's

If you're interested in having anal sex but have no idea where to begin, you've come to the right place.

Anal sex can feel great whether you're the partner who's on the receiving end or the one who's penetrating. The anus has many nerve endings that can provide tons of pleasure during anal play.

However, the area is also very sensitive, and you have to take precautions to ensure comfort and safety. It's important to educate yourself and your partner since anal sex takes some more planning and preparation than penis-in-vagina sex.

Here's what you need to know about how to prepare for anal sex and hygiene surrounding anal play.

First off, communication is key. Have a conversation with your partner about STIs, your expectations, requests, and boundaries to minimize anxiety going into the experience, says Tameca N. Harris-Jackson, a certified sexuality educator, sex therapist, and founder of Hope & Serenity Health Services.

As for supplies you'll need, have condoms on hand to practice safer sex and prevent STIs.

Next, the most crucial supply for anal play is a lubricant. "Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be," says Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist, certified sex therapist, and co-director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes.

Not only does lube increase your pleasure, but it also helps prevent your risk of getting hurt. Harris-Jackson says the skin in and around the anus is very delicate and can tear easily, increasing your risk of bleeding or infections. Using lots of lube and starting slow will help prevent these tears.

When using condoms, make sure you use a water-based or a silicone-based lubricant, since oil-based lubricants can break down condoms. But if you're using silicone sex toys in the bedroom as well, stick to water-based.

If you have fair warning before anal sex, it can help to avoid greasy foods, dairy, or any foods that you know tend to increase gas or stomach upset, Harris-Jackson says.

As for hygiene when you're prepping for anal play, Harris-Jackson recommends following these steps:

1. If you feel the need to beforehand, have a bowel movement.

2. Wipe the anal area completely.

3. Regardless of bowel movement or not, wash the area thoroughly with gentle soap and water.

As you prepare for anal sex, it's important to warm up first. Needle suggests starting with a finger or a butt plug. This will help you explore the sensations of anal play before diving fully into anal sex.

Not only are you going to want to lube up for anal sex itself, but it's important to use lube on anything that's going up the butt. That means on fingers and toys, too, Harris-Jackson says.

Hand hygiene is important, too, for the partner who will be fingering the butt. This partner should have their fingernails trimmed and filed to minimize rips and tears, and wash their hands with soap and water, Harris-Jackson says.

If you want to go a step further here, you can consider wearing latex or non-porous gloves as an additional barrier to bacteria and infections. If there are open cuts or sores on the fingers, don't use them.

You may have heard of people anal douching or using enemas before anal play. This involves flushing out the rectum with water –– however, medical professionals advise against doing this for the sake of feeling cleaner before anal.

"While it may be tempting, they have been found to increase infections, including increasing the risk of acquiring STIs," Harris-Jackson says.

If you're having anal sex with someone with a vagina, one of the key hygiene and safety points is to avoid putting anything that's been in the anus into the vagina –– fingers, toys, and penis included.If you decide to switch from anal sex to vaginal sex, take off the condom you were using before and switch to a new one before moving to the vagina, Needle says. You don't want to introduce bacteria from the anus into the vagina as it may cause a UTI. Don't put a toy like a butt plug that was in the butt into the vagina for the same reason.

You may also want to be careful to avoid slipping into the vagina during anal sex, if the penis slips out of the butt and into the vagina on the next thrust.

To prevent this and maintain control, Harris-Jackson says one partner can use one of their hands to help guide the penis and keep things on track. This can be especially helpful when you're first starting out and getting in the swing of anal.

If you're the receiving partner, make sure you verbally let your partner know if you want them to ease up, slow down, add more lube, or take a break to avoid any tears or further discomfort. "Pay attention to your body and stop if it's too painful," Needle says.

Additionally, it's helpful to have some quick clean-up items in case you need to take care of a little mess without stopping the fun. Harris-Jackson suggests keeping a towel, tissues, or gentle unscented wipes nearby for easy access.

Remember, anal sex isn't always going to be perfect. You can do all the "right" things and still experience a little mess.

"If you encounter fecal matter, that's okay. It's natural and it happens," Harris-Jackson says. Both partners should be mature enough to accept this and acknowledge that stuff like this can happen with butt play.

After anal sex, the receiving partner can go to the restroom to take care of whatever they need to –– whether that's using the bathroom to release any feelings of fullness, releasing any gas, and wiping away remaining lube, Harris-Jackson says.

Then, just as with the prep, wash between the butt cheeks with gentle soap and water and dry off. The penetrating partner may want to wash with gentle soap and water, too.

Make sure to clean your sex toys, too. Check if the packaging has specific cleaning instructions. For general rules of thumb, submerge silicone toys in boiling water and clean them with mild soap and water. Wash glass, metal, or plastic toys with warm soapy water.

Lastly, if there's anything that's gotten on bedding or clothing, throw it in the wash.

With adequate prep and warming up, anal sex can be super pleasurable for both the receiving and penetrating partner. Keep the line of communication open to ensure that you're both feeling comfortable and having a good time –– because of course, you want any type of sex to be fun and feel good.

Sticking to the basics of cleaning up before with mild soap and water, using lots of lube, and warming up with fingers or a butt plug can go a long way in making your anal sex experience amazing.