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May 30, 2023

24 Best Sex Toys for Women, According to Experts in 2023: Lovehoney, Lelo, Dame, Maude, We

By Malia Griggs All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission. Finding the best

By Malia Griggs

All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Finding the best sex toys for women can be challenging: There’s a world of sex toy options out there for clitoral stimulation—like G-spot vibrators, finger vibrators, and bullet vibrators, just to name a few—and penetration toys you can use for insertion and anal play—such as butt plugs, dildos, and anal beads). So you might justifiably wonder, Where do I begin?

Whether you’re hunting for a new vibe to add to your nightstand collection, to explore with a partner, or are looking for a beginner’s model, the right sex toys can spark and enhance your sexual pleasure. To help you make your way through the somewhat less pleasurable task of actually choosing these toys, we asked a range of sex experts and educators everything you need to know about shopping for the best sex toys for women.

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First, ask yourself how you hope to actually use the toy. “Have an idea of the type of stimulation and pleasure you want to experience, which will help narrow down the toys that will best meet your needs,” says Malika O’Neill, LPC, MS, MEd, a sex and relationship therapist and the founder and CEO of The Pleasure Collective, LLC. For instance, if you love the sensation of tongue, take a look at oral sex toys. If you’re highly sensitive, seek out a toy with gentle vibrations.

Secondly, what type of toy do you want? Are you aiming for external stimulation of the clit or sensitive areas, or do you definitely know you want an insertable toy for G-spot or anal play? Good Vibrations staff expert Carol Queen, PhD, notes that many beginners assume that toys must be vaginally inserted, but there are tons designed chiefly for clitoral stimulation.

From there, consider: What is the toy made to do? Do the size and shape work for you? How many intensity and pattern settings does it have, and how much do you want to spend? (“Don’t expect a particular toy to be optimal for a kind of play or body part it wasn’t designed to facilitate or stimulate,” Dr. Queen says.)

Lastly, is your toy body-safe? You’ll want to choose ones made of sanitizable, non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass.

Read on for expert recommendations for the best sex toys for internal and external stimulation, broken down by category. You’ll find options from brands like Lelo, Maude, Dame, Lovehoney, Mimi, and B-Vibe.

Perhaps the best-known category of sex toys marketed for women are vibrators, which come in a ton of styles with varying levels of power and speed. Though many vibrators are primarily designed for external clitoral stimulation, some stimulate the G-spot internally and dual-stimulation vibrators target both the clit and the G-spot.

Designed originally for body massage, wand vibrators are often characterized by large ball-shaped heads, long bodies, and intense motors—the combo of which diffuses more vibrations across the clit than a smaller toy can. “Wands are great for clitoral stimulation during solo play or partnered play,” Lovehoney sex expert Shamyra Howard, LCSW, CST, tells SELF, adding that they can feel excellent across sensitive zones like nipples, butts, and penises. Below are some of the most highly rated (by both sex educators and SELF editors) wand vibes.

Magic Wand Original

Lovehoney

The Magic Wand from Hitachi was popularized during the 1970s thanks to sex educator Betty Dodson. “It’s iconic for a reason,” Lisa Finn, a brand manager at Babeland, previously told SELF. She called it the “Goldilocks of wand heads” because it’s not too round or too flat. This updated version of the classic wand delivers on deep vibrations and has a redesigned head. It’s also cordless, so you don’t have to anchor yourself to an outlet.

Maude Vibe

Maude

SELF commerce editor Malia Griggs called the SELF Fave Maude Vibe the “sex toy I didn’t know I needed.” Though it lacks the signature bulb head of the traditional wand vibrator, its rounded base fits naturally in the hand and its tapered tip targets the clit. The simple-to-use, whisper-quiet vibe has three intensities that ramp up from fluttery to “eye-poppingly powerful.”

For more: Best Wand Vibrators

What’s known as the G-spot is actually most likely a small area of spongy tissue located near the front of the upper vaginal wall. Though its exact location is debated among researchers, when the area is stimulated it can feel fantastic to some.

There’s a huge range of insertable G-spot vibrators and sex toys designed to concentrate on this zone, including dual-stimulation toys (such as rabbit vibrators) and toys that are curved or have bulbous heads that pulse or thrust. Here are a few of the top expert-recommended G-spot vibes.

Womanizer Duo

Lovehoney

Walmart

The Womanizer Duo combines the clit-targeting, air-pulse technology of an oral-sex-simulating vibrator with a curved arm that slips inside and has 12 levels of vibrations for potent G-spot stimulation.

We-Vibe Chorus

Lovehoney

Babeland

There are many reasons to love the Chorus, which Babeland’s Finn previously told SELF is the best of We-Vibe’s wearable vibrators. It can sit inside the vagina, leaves room for a penis or strap-on, and provides sensations internally and externally for both partners during sex. Though the toy can be controlled via app, Finn appreciates its remote’s squeeze function: “The harder you grip the base of the remote, the more intense the vibration.”

For more: Best G-Spot Vibrators

If tongue action turns you on, there are many oral sex toys that can be used alone or with a partner. True to their name, clitoral suction vibrators (a.k.a. suckers, air-pulse vibrators, or oral sex simulators) have wide mouths that surround the clitoris (without touching it) and pulse tiny waves of air that “evoke the feeling of suction,” Dr. Queen says. These toys can additionally be used to stimulate nipples and penis heads. Another type of oral sex toy is the clitoral stimulator, which is designed with silicone “lips,” “tongues,” or “petals” that flick across the clit.

Lelo Sona 2

Lelo

O’Neill is a fan of the waterproof Lelo Sona 2 vibrator for its slim mouth that fits around the head of the clit and can provide deep, long-lasting orgasms. The toy pulses waves in 12 different patterns for sensations that build from a murmur to a rumble.

Dame Aer

Dame

The Aer is an air-pulse vibrator with five patterns and five intensity levels that mimic the mouth and tongue. The vibe is 100% waterproof, has a magnetic USB charger, and lasts for 90 minutes.

Satisfyer Pro 2

Babeland

Walmart

This sucker comes previously recommended by Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, for its affordability, high-quality, waterproofness, and simulation of clitoral suction with its 11 increasing levels of intensity.

Lelo Ora 3

Lelo

The donut-shaped Lelo Ora 3’s subtle, nub-like “tongue” vibrates and rotates in 12 patterns. It’s quiet, shower-safe, and has an ergonomic loop in its body that makes it easier to hold.

For more: Best Oral Sex Toys, Best Clitoral Vibrators

Finger vibrators slide onto a finger or between them and aim to capture the nature of masturbating with your hands. They can make amazing additions to solo sex (especially if you’re a beginner to vibrators), because they let you use your hand as you ordinarily would.

They’re also great for partnered play, Good Vibrations education director Andy Duran previously told SELF. Finger vibes can be used to focus sensations on any sensitive zone, including the butt, breasts, and clit. Should you have issues with dexterity, many of these vibrators fit securely around (or tether to) the fingers, Dr. Queen says.

Fun Factory Be One

Babeland

Good Vibrations

“The Fun Factory Be One is designed to nestle between any two of your fingers and function almost like a smaller sixth one,” Duran said. At just three inches, the rechargeable, 100% waterproof vibe is no larger than a pinky and can also rest between the labia’s lips for hands-free clitoral stimulation.

Dame Fin

Dame

The best-selling Dame Fin can be used around or tethered between fingers, or sans tether for more movement and exploration. “If you prefer the tactile sensation of your partner’s hand to that of a sex toy, you can position the Fin on the top side of your fingers, turning them into a conduit for the vibration,” Finn previously told SELF.

For more: Best Finger Vibrators

“Egg vibrators are egg-shaped and fit in the palm; they can be clitoral stimulators or allover vibes,” Dr. Queen says. Also known as a love egg, the egg vibe has vibration speeds that are often app- or remote-controllable, leaving hands free for other fun.

Though similar, bullet vibrators are more ovular and petite (hence the “bullet”), making them perhaps the most discreet sex toys, as they’re easy to slip into a clutch or pocket for on-the-go pleasure.

Lelo Lyla 2

Lelo

Lovehoney

The Lelo Lyla 2, which blends an egg and bullet vibrator, is designed to fit inside the vagina and can be completely controllable by remote from almost 40 feet away. The controller allows users to shift between six patterns and 16 speeds by tilting their hand and has a lock mode so that it doesn’t accidentally turn on while you’re on the go.

We-Vibe Tango X

Lovehoney

Babeland

Sex toy experts praise the We-Vibe Tango X, a bullet and lipstick combo with seven modes, eight intensity levels, and an angled tip for precision.

For more: Best Egg Vibrators, Best Bullet Vibrators

If you’re a Sex and the City fan, you might already know of the rabbit vibrator. That original vibe had a long body that was insertable into the vagina, with distinctive rabbit “ears” that stimulated the clit. Though many rabbit vibes today have preserved this signature style, others have replaced the ears with shorter curved arms (or multiple arms or suction mechanisms) while offering that same dual stimulation.

Lovehoney Happy Rabbit

Lovehoney

This is a classic rabbit vibrator which mixes long, flexible rabbit ears that tickle the clit with a curved vibrating arm that pulses against the G-spot.

Je Joue Rabbit Bullet Vibe

Babeland

The Je Joue blends the size of a bullet with the clitoral stimulation of a rabbit vibe. The toy’s ears flutter against the clit (or hug it) for orgasmic ripples. “Don’t be fooled by how cute this toy is—the low rumble of Je Joue’s motor packs some serious power for an intense climax,” Finn previously told SELF.

For more: Best Rabbit Vibrators

There’s lots to love about remote-control vibrators: They’re often cordless, hands-free, and many can be managed from afar via app—a real turn-on for anyone in a long-distance relationship (or situationship). “It’s fun and sexy to hand the controller to a partner and wait for the vibration to start,” Dr. Queen says.

Remote-control vibrators come in many stylings, from G-spot vibrators to rabbit vibrators. One popular type is the panty vibrator, a “wearable vibrator hidden in the underwear for discreet clitoral stimulation,” Shamyra Howard, LCSW, previously told SELF.

We-Vibe Moxie+

Lovehoney

We-Vibe

The app- and remote-controllable We-Vibe Moxie+ is a rechargeable panty vibe that subtly slips into undies and massages the clit. The vibe’s magnetic attachment means it can stick under clothes or a harness as well, Shadeen Francis, LMFT, a sex and relationship therapist, previously told SELF.

Lelo Tiani 3

Amazon

Lelo

The waterproof Lelo Tiani 3’s circular remote can cycle through eight settings with the flick of a wrist (no need to fumble for a button). Its body-safe silicone arm glides into the vagina to target the G-spot while the end simultaneously massages the clit.

For more: Best Remote-Control Vibrators, Best Panty Vibrators

“Similar to the heads of wand vibes, palm vibrators have more surface area than mini vibes or pointed vibes, and thus stimulate with greater diffusion and less focus and tend to stimulate more of the vulva, not just the clitoris,” Dr. Queen says. This oblong vibrator fits comfortably in the palm and can feel great when stroked across the body too. Here are a couple beginner-friendly palm vibrators to consider.

Je Joue Mimi

Lovehoney

Je Joue

The pebble-shaped Je Joue Mimi has a velvety-soft body that caresses you into arousal with five speeds and seven patterns to choose from.

Dame Pom

Dame

The Pom’s silicone body is almost entirely bendable and wide enough to contact the whole vulva while its tip pinpoints the clit (and can feel nice around the anal opening too).

For many, putting pressure near the anus can feel really good, which is why it’s worth checking out penetrative toys designed specifically for anal insertion. The main types are butt plugs (and similarly, anal beads) and dildos (which can fit into strap-ons and be inserted vaginally as well as anally). We’ve rounded up the best penetration sex toys, according to experts. A few words to the wise? For anal penetration, lube up and be sure your toy has a flared base (you don’t want to risk it getting stuck in your rectum).

Butt plugs and anal beads are both designed as intro toys to anal play. Plugs are usually cone-shaped with a wide base that keeps them from sliding out of your backside. Some vibrate, some have rigid or flexible bodies, and some even have furry tails. They’re “designed for safe anal penetration and can be left in the butt, freeing your hands to do other pleasurable things,” Dr. Queen says.

By Ashia Aubourg

By Hannah Dylan Pasternak

By Malia Griggs

While butt plugs offer a feeling of pressure and fullness, the sensation of anal beads has more to do with movement. “Unlike a butt plug, which is only meant to go in and stay, anal beads were designed to stimulate inside the body and specifically to move in and out of the bum,” Alicia Sinclair, the CEO of sex toy company B-Vibe, previously told SELF.

If you’re a butt-plug beginner, experts recommend starting with a smaller one that’s roughly the size of a finger or two before working your way up to anything larger. The same principle applies to anal beads: Choose a string that starts small and grows bigger, so you can ease into the feeling, Sinclair says.

b-Vibe Novice

b-Vibe

Babeland

If you’re new to anal play, you might start with the Novice, a vibrating butt plug that is only about the size of a pinky (3.35 inches), remote-controllable from up to 30 feet away, and has 15 vibration patterns for a range of sensation.

Adam & Eve Booty Bliss Vibrating Beads

Adam & Eve

With a chain of anal beads that increase in sizes from 0.25 inches to one inch, this butt plug is great for beginners who want to work their way up. Plus the beads vibrate for extra stimulation.

For more: Best Butt Plugs, How to Use Anal Beads

The basic dildo is a penis-shaped toy that can be inserted into the vagina or anus. Functionally, some have suction bases that provide stability (and can be used in the shower), some have dual ends (or two-in-one for double the penetration), and some are designed with bases to be worn with strap-on harnesses along the pelvis for hands-free vaginal and/or anal penetration with a partner. Many strap-on sets are sold with dildos included (an affordable option for beginners).

Gala Mini Confetti Dildo

Good Vibrations

Babeland

Dr. Queen says the Gala Mini is an excellent toy because of its compact seven-inch length (versus the 8.75-inch full-size version). Its suction cup base allows for hands-free fun, and it can fit into a harness.

Unbound Bender Flexible Internal Vibrator

Anthropologie

Ulta

This versatile sex toy (which has 10 vibrating speeds and patterns) can be bent for both vaginal and anal insertion (as well as used for external stimulation).

Tracey Cox Supersex Strap-On Pegging Kit (4-Piece)

Lovehoney

This pegging set includes two dildos, three O-rings (through which you can insert other sized dildos and toys), and a pocket for an included bullet vibe. Dr. Fleming previously told SELF that she likes how the harness is machine-washable and adjusts to fit hips up to 65 inches.

SpareParts Hardwear Joque Harness

Lovehoney

“I love [this SpareParts harness] because it’s super versatile, friendly to lots of body types and sizes, metal-free, and very comfortable for both the wearer and the other partner/partners,” Ori Nelsen, PsyD and founder of San Francisco Intimacy and Sex Therapy Center, previously told SELF.

For more: Best Dildos, Best Strap-Ons

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