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Aug 13, 2023

15 Long Distance Sex Toys Your Partner Can Control From Anywhere

By Laura Delarato All products featured on Condé Nast Traveler are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

By Laura Delarato

All products featured on Condé Nast Traveler are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Long distance couples, meet long distance sex toys. If you've ever spent an extended period of time away from your partner or lover, you probably know how difficult it can be to maintain intimacy when erotic satisfaction and sensual touch are not provided—at no fault but that of the miles and time zones between you both. Yet thanks to sex tech, proximity doesn't need to be the end all be all of sexual connection to your person. Remote access to erotic sensation and unwaveringly great orgasms are not only a thing, they've become a staple in teledildonics—receiving and transmitting intimate touch through the internet—as the market demands more ways to be close to our partners at a distance (USD 31.4 billion was the sextech market size in 2022, it's only growing). Meaning: remote access sex toys are here to stay. TSA, be warned.

Whatever suits your desire, there are long distance sex toys out there with your specifications that can be operated by another somewhere else in the world. Some are discreet sex toys that can fit into your fanny pack; others may require you to check a bag. One thing is for sure, they all make long distance feel less long. Read on for 15 remote-access sex toy options (give or take a few outliers) to keep your partnership strong no matter where you are, Carmen San Diego.

How innovative has sex tech become that 'app-controlled' isn’t even the headline of a sex toy's capabilities? This masturbation sleeve is designed for long-distance play by connection to the brand's media player. The result: a synced VR experience and interactive play with your partner. With 3 suction intensities and 7 vibration functions along with 360° contractions, this product is the muscle car of long-distance sex toys. And if that wasn't appealing enough, the Max 2 can be both controlled remotely via the Lovense Remote app or even sync with its companion rabbit-style vibrator Nora.

Speaking of, the Nora is a dual pleasure vibrator with the ability to be controlled by a lover at a distance and/or sync with its boyfriend the Max 2 for ultimate partner (or solo) play. But this rabbit vibrator distinguishes itself with its girthy rotating shaft and G-spot-reaching head—that and three vibration speeds moving through the external piece is an ideal combination for a blended orgasm as the Nora and Max react to each other’s movements. Long-distance doesn't seem that far when your toys are acutely connected.

The curvature of the Tiani Harmony is designed for all kinds of play: solo, partnered, partnered at a distance. When worn, the internal piece is intended to press on the G-spot while the external stimulator can emit 10 powerful vibration settings across the outer genitalia—wear by yourself for some hands-free pleasure or invite a partner to experience the sensation themselves during penetration. Connect Tiani to the LELO™ APP to experience extra vibration patterns and direct pleasure through the toy's dual motors while at a distance. The two-hour battery life is paragon for couples raring for quality time when missing each other in separate locations with app access.

This L-shaped prostate massager is such an inconspicuous wishbone that even if it did fall from your carry-on, no one would clock it for its intended use. This is a dual action sex toy with vibration transmitting onto the P-Spot through the bulb and also the perineum via the tapered external lip. Consider this a “rabbit” style anal toy for people with prostates—but a butt is a butt is a butt so anyone with one can gain access to the Vector+ powerful pleasure. And with the We-Vibe app, you or your partner can control the vibration settings from different continents. Consider also the in-hand remote that can spark the two rumbly motors up to a 10 foot range. A perk: the We-Vibe products at full power are still quieter than a hushed conversation in a library. Consider this your opportunity to wear it to the hotel bar when no one is around.

While transporting this hefty piece of sex furniture on a trip is not recommended, it's holding firm on the leaderboard with its six vibrating patterns, 360 degrees swivel rotation, and up to 1200 RMP of vibrations—all entirely controllable with corded remote or smartphone app functionality. The Cowgirl has its own app that allows the user to customize vibration, rotation, and pulsation patterns—even with the ability to save your favorite pleasure arrangements. It's also connected to the FeelConnect App that allows for long-distance control with remote access, video chatting, and also the ability to increase the power and intensity with sound. Moaning, spanking, or even positioning your device near music will change the pulsations. This is an entirely mountable machine with a wide variety of attachments, grinding pad, and a slip resistant silicone base. Yes, it's primarily a stay at home toy for lovers to handle the controls while they are away. But even so, the pleasure options and luxury of this product might just have travelers checking it into their Away Large Flex suitcase for extended stays (it does fit).

The name accuracy here is unparalleled as you will legit melt into your hotel room bed while your partner makes you climax from a different state (hot). At first glance, the Melt looks like a beefed up fountain pen that must join you in your carry on bag for that weekend getaway. But on further inspection, this product goes beyond the complexities of an easy-peasy, travel vibrator. Pleasure Air technology is used to create pulsating waves and suction without ever touching your external bits. Packed with 12 intensity levels, your partner can waver between them with access to the We-Vibe app. So sit back and fade into bliss wherever you have an internet connection.

For those into nipple play and/or looking to explore light BDSM, the Gemini is a hand-free dual vibrator that clamps onto each nipple for solo, partnered or long-distance use. With the ability to control pinch strength and vibration intensity, these clamps offer unlimited styles—including wearing under your clothes for public arousal or exploring power dynamics by activating the vibrations on your partner as a signal for an erotic act! Bonus: they look like wired earbuds so no one at TSA will give you a raised eyebrow.

Nothing says "I'm thinking about you" like a long-term wear cage for your member. While not a vibrating option—and certainly an advanced selection—chastity toys allow for the wearer to hand over control to their (trusted) key holder who says when and where genitalia can be accessed to get off. To the questions you're definitely asking yourself: yes, you can pass through TSA, and you can also urinate with a chastity cage locking away your genitalia. This kink is palpable for people who have put in the effort on the training and communication skills needed to lock a partner's genitals away—and just think of how sensitive the other erogenous zones become when the principal sex organ is temporarily removed from the equation. That business trip or weekend getaway just got a lot kinkier.

We love a dual stimulator. We love a body-safe material (silicone). We love customizable vibration intensities. But you know what we really love about this toy: data. The Lioness is so advanced that it has built in sensors that visualize your arousal points and orgasms through its mobile app. It's of the future, people. Play with your partner across the world through the app's remote control functionality—or provide your new lover with a pin code to your vibrator via the app and enjoy a sexy virtual date. Here is where those sensors come in handy as your partner can select your favorite pleasure patterns to make every orgasm (even at a distance) satisfying.

Okay. We don't condone public sexy time in the presence of others who aren't consenting to the play. But the Hush 2 Slim and its tapered neck and silky silicone material is designed for extended wear, making that late night and clandestine rendezvous with your Italian lover during your short stay in Capri much more thrilling when they can control the resounding pleasure of the bulb via a remote control while you sip your wine. When you have to take the ferry back to the mainland, the app will still allow access across the gulf. Sync it to music or your favorite pleasure patterns when you're solo!

For those of us who love a wand vibrator but can't in good conscience pack a vibrator that takes up more space than our shoes for a quick getaway, the Domi 2 doesn't sacrifice intensity for size. Coming in at 9.2 inches in length, this toy can snuggly fit in our Calpak Hue Toiletry Bag and lasts up to six hours on a full charge. Time your pleasure with sound-activated vibration to your favorite playlist, control the patterns at a close-range through Bluetooth, or provide your lover with long-distance access all through the Lovenese remote app. You can even video call during your session.

Maybe the aforementioned chastity cage was of interest to you but a bit on the advanced side. Maybe the idea of public play is super erotic, but you're looking for something comfortable to sport for an extended period of time. The Diamo is a versatile and stretchable ring designed to maintain harder, bigger, and longer-lasting erections. The powerful motor inside the curved lip allows for the ring to be worn in four different ways for the wearer's pleasure by pressing on the perineum or when between you and a partner—they can feel it as well! The Lovense app allows for the ring to sync with preferred patterns, your favorite song, or controlled by a distant partner. And because the Diamo exists on the quieter side (the highest sound level: 46 dB) this ring can be worn out—monitor your own sounds when on.

What a gift from the sex toy goddesses. The Aya is a fully adaptable sex toy that accommodates internal, external, wearable, solo, and partnered play—along with a magnetized shield that secures the vibrator in place when worn in undergarments. We should also mention that the internal attachment allows the Aya to go from external only to a dual vibrator. Its two-hour charge means two hours of your partner (or yourself) fiddling with the ZALO Remote Pro app to see which of the eight vibration modes you love the most.

Sexual pleasure prioritizes mental stimulation, and audio erotica is the finely crafted hammer in your erotic toolbox—turning you on through the ears of your Airpod Max as you make your way to baggage claim. Quinn, an audio erotica app, is made by women for everyone looking to get off. There are serialized stories, short bursts of audio lust, sexy playlists, and sorted themes aimed at satisfying your deepest fantasy (Spa Treatment, Villain Era, and Praise & Degradation are just a few of their categories). And with big names like Jesse Williams voicing their latest original audio series "The Misty Door" and the brand's TikTok giving just enough not to get flagged, Quinn is a great app to download for couples and lovers looking to give audible sensation and arousal a try. Select a playlist with your lover and both listen separately on your way to meet after a long stretch apart—you won't be able to take your hands off each other.

Think WatchParty... but for porn. Sssh.com is ethically produced and sex-positive adult films that range from hardcore to storyline driven content, VR experiences, and audio erotica. Soirée is another arm to their adult cinematic universe by allowing anyone anywhere to stream any film, show, or educational tutorial from their members’ library while interacting with each other in real-time. As a member, you can send a link to a guest thus creating a private viewing room.

Laura Delarato (@heylauraheyyy) is a writer, body image advocate, and sexual wellness enthusiast. In her 9-5, she is Group Creative Director at Vox Media. But in her 5-9 she writes about travel, sex, and pasta. Her book My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex is available wherever books are sold. Follow her pasta dinners, abstract illustrations, and nudes on Instagram, or read her essays about sex, body image, and being Italian on her newsletter Hey Laura.